so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
