Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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