I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
