If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
But break dance skills will only take you so far
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
