Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
