Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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