I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
