I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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