Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
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