What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
