Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
