i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
