Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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