quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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