I just saw a hot homeless man
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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