Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
