I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
