OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
