If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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