Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
