Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
