I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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