sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
