I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize