I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
