I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
