Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(951): View more from California

I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?

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(503): View more from Oregon

i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?

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(256): View more from Alabama

There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.

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(613): View more from Ontario

i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized

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