The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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