im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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