i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
