good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
