i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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