how can u be prego again
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
