Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
