Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
