i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
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