My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
