Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
