You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
