in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
