a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
