Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
