accomplished twins. life is a go
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
