Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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