We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
