i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
