Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
there is puke in my bra ... again
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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