You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize