I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
