on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
