I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize