one might say we're banned from that church
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
