either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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