I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
