I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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