Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
