it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
