He disabled his match.com account in front of me
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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