Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
