I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
