i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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