when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Small penises have feelings too.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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