when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
You smell like stripper and shame
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
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