meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
