Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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