Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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