Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize
