Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
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