It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
