I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
