I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
