sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
