I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize